Harmoniuous Chaos






                                                            Harmonious chaos

As I am writing this, I have paused my film for tonight to pin out the state of the elephant in our society’s room. For a few weeks, or months I have seen the conversation of mental health “mu Rwanda” brought up on twitter and to my surprise it was brought up on a national level through a trauma symposium. 

I was surprised to see it brought up because of what I usually know happens when it the convo starts. I have been in many of those, more often mental health and mental disorders will be dismissed as a luxury third world countries, more specifically Africans can’t afford. In other cases it will be made a case of bourgeoisie versus working / poor class problems. 

The argument being the poor are preoccupied by their unsatisfied basic needs that the mental health related issues are to be dealt with in another lifetime. I can clearly quote one friend of mine saying “when you don’t have problems you create them/ find them” referring to the rate of depression and suicide in developed countries.  

While it might be absurd to think that mental disorders and suicides are rates linked to the fact of the country being developed or not, it is true that most countries with high suicide rates are mostly eastern European, automatically assumed to be developed by my fellow arguers and I. They are not the most developed economically but they have some developed infrastructures and their education ranks among the highest in the world.  

 I personally usually would state how suicidal people living in cold countries are mostly during winter, and link it with capitalism saying : " It  overworks the poor and doesn't give  them time to find purpose in something other than work while the elite have time to ruin the world leaving their children to overthink, guilt about it and develop all sorts of anxieties about anxieties."
 
Statistically basing on 2019 data by the WHO, among the 10 countries with the most suicides there is 1 African country, 5 European countries ,  2 American countries and 2 Asian ones. The first one on the list being Lithuania and Russia the second, as for Rwanda well it is the 102nd .

As for the most developed countries economically speaking , the U.S , China and Japan are the most developed and rank at the 27th , 64th and 14th which leaves an anticlimactic feeling  to our hypothesis of the rich being miserable and the poor too busy.  Rich or poor the bigger picture is in a world where 16 people per 100, 000 or said simply one person dies (kills themselves) every 40 seconds.

Digitizing these people doesn’t really help raise much empathy, it really comes when the news is close .  I recently have been listening with an open ear on stories of suicide like one I just heard tonight of a fellow literally my age. And people seem to wonder why the person did it , "they had a good life , nothing seemed off!" Which again might be true but suggests people without the said possessions/ achievements  are more prone to suicide... 

As a Rwandan who is aware that my generation will have to deal with the blessings of an identity crisis from colonialism plus the part where we are from families that are melting pots of cultures from our own plus the one from Burundi, Uganda, Congo Tanzania due to exile ; a generational gap between ours and our parents’ same as theirs and last but not least the indelible mark of being the post-genocidal generation whichever form of inherited trauma this one causes , I am alive so far. 
 But I be damned niba iyi Kigali itazabikandagira byose bigatuza!!!

I have understanding for how people choose to deal with the above, denying, self-harming(not advisable), and levitating in the surreal world of your choice… After all I can barely find my on catharsis.

 I just think if the “word” made life through time as we are lead to believe, then silence is slow and temporary death. Ergo "Umuryango utazimuye urazima!"

If you can talk to someone, or something (siri, an empty book, the voice in your head , a mic in the studio) or can do an activity that makes you release the energy building up  then do it. The same goes if you can listen or lend your time / energy to care for the one who seems in need , your-self included!

 Naho ubundi I will continue Alejandro Amenabar’s “The sea inside” which ironically is about a tetraplegic former boat mechanic who fights his case for a legal suicide…  I wouldn’t want to lecture anyone on the simplicity and intricacy of life, church, Leta and Green ferry music are way better #kinyatrap #Esenimuebue.

 So, let us to address the oceans inside of us before they come out.  

NB: It should be noted that Suicide is only the measure of those who choose to end their lives, it cannot account for the level of mental illnesses in one country and the two can easily be mutually exclusive. Also there are a lot of factors such as culture and the mental health awareness and available care for people showing that contribute to some countries having lower or higher suicide rates.
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;Sources: WHO , befrienders.org  , worldpopulationreview.c

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